Supporting Your Spouse During the Adoption Process – Part 2

Holding hands

Source: Flickr, Nita

Last week we posted a blog on supporting your spouse through the adoption process. We focused on activities you can do together, from exercising and prayer to relaxing baths and having fun. Be sure to check it out and we hope you find it helpful. This week, the focus is on supporting your spouse’s self care needs. This means making sure that your spouse is taking care of him- or herself, even when you’re not around.

The Importance of Self Care

In order to reach the end of the adoption process healthy and happy, it’s vital that people make sure to take care of themselves. Stress, worry, and frustration can take a physical toll if you’re not careful. Focusing on self-care simply means focusing on your well-being, both mental and physical.

To support your spouse in this effort, come up with a “feel better” idea board. If your spouse is frustrated working on paperwork or simply feeling down about the process, then have that idea board handy. It should include things like “Take a Walk” or “Eat a Piece of Candy.” You can also place prayer reminders around the house for your spouse to see when feeling discouraged. Anything to remind your spouse that it’s important to take care of themselves so they can be strong and ready to open their hearts to a new member of the family when the time comes.

Easy Ways to Lighten the Load

Source: Flickr, Donnie Ray Jones

Source: Flickr, Donnie Ray Jones

If time management is getting the better of your spouse, suggest ways to lighten the load so the days don’t feel so burdened with tasks. If you have children in your family who can take on chores, ask them to share some extra chores to relieve your spouse for a bit. This could be taking out the trash, washing dishes, raking the yard, etc. Even the smallest things will feel like a weight has lifted. And your spouse may not think to ask for help, so it’s up to you to see when the need arises and spring to action.

Outsourcing Tasks to Make Room

Source: Flickr, Meal Makeover Moms

Source: Flickr, Meal Makeover Moms

If it’s not possible to have immediate family help out, then reach out to your larger family and friend circles. You’d be surprised how eager people will be to help. Have a big week ahead that you know will be difficult? Ask your friends to bring by a few casseroles so your spouse doesn’t have to worry about food that week.

If the budget allows, consider hiring someone to help with house cleaning or lawn maintenance to lighten the load and make time for self-care and adoption support group meetings. If you can tell your spouse not to worry about mowing the lawn or cleaning the bathtub, then there’s time to go to a support group. And just like that, things start looking up and feeling less overwhelming.

It’s important to make room in your day-to-day life for the adoption process, so get creative and trust that any support you offer will make a huge difference in your spouse’s life.