Sometimes a pregnancy occurs at a time when you are not prepared to give your child everything you believe they deserve. You may not have the money to support a child or have a place to live. Your family may not be supportive, and you may feel you are not ready to assume the responsibility of raising a child. You may feel that you have not yet grown up yourself and want to complete your own growing up process before attempting to raise a child. You may wish to go to college, and you may want to explore the world and gain valuable life experiences before assuming all the responsibilities of parenthood.
Some people say that adoption is an irresponsible thing to do and shows that you do not love your child. We believe that in some circumstances making an adoption plan can be the most loving and responsible act a mother and father can do. Choosing adoption is an active step in assuring that your child will have all of their needs met. It is one way to give your child all of your dreams in a time when you are unable to provide those things yourself.
- Deciding on an adoption can be so hard. Who can help me with this decision?
You will have your own adoption coordinator who will meet with you and help you explore your situation. We provide adoption education for you and the prospective birth father as well as any other family members who desire. Upon request we can connect you with other birth parents that have placed their children for adoption, so they can share their experiences with you and support you during this difficult time as well.
- What services can Adoption & Beyond provide for me?
In addition to adoption education and guidance we can help arrange assistance with food, maternity clothes, transportation to medical appointments and legal counsel.
- What if I have counseling and assistance through the agency and then decide I don’t want to go through with the adoption?
We believe our task is to educate and counsel you, which will help you decide if adoption is the best choice for you and your child. Should you explore adoption and realize it is not right for you, we will help guide you to the necessary resources to assist with your parenting plan. At our agency, you are never pressured to make an adoption plan.
- Do my parents have to know about the pregnancy? Can my parents force me to do an adoption? Can they stop me from doing the adoption?
You are not legally required to tell your parents that you are pregnant or that you are planning an adoption. They have no legal right to the child. Often secrets cause lots of problems in families and can be very burdensome to a prospective birth parent. We will help you work with your family during this difficult period.
- Does the prospective birth father of the baby have to know? What if I don’t know who or where he is?
Kansas and Missouri law requires that the prospective birth father be notified. In those situations where we are unable to locate the prospective birth father, other legal mechanisms are available to complete the adoption.
- Can I choose and meet the prospective adoptive parents?
YES! First, we do a thorough evaluation of the couple to assure that they are emotionally and financially prepared to parent a child. In addition to hours of personal interviews, we do police checks, gather references, obtain medical clearances, and verify employment. We have each family prepare a letter, profile, and photo layout for you to view, so you can decide which family you like. Some prospective birth parents choose to interview a few couples before deciding on the best parents. We will work with you to help determine what type of relationship you want with the adoptive parents.
- Will I get to see my baby at the hospital?
You are in charge of how much contact you want to have with the baby in the hospital. Some birth mothers choose to spend a limited amount of time with the baby, while others choose to spend every minute with the baby while in the hospital.
- Suppose there is something wrong with my baby?
We are fully committed to work with you regardless of the health of the child. Should your child be born with a medical problem, we will find a loving family equipped to handle the special needs that child may have, or we will connect you with an agency that can help.
- How will I know that my child is OK as they grow?
Many birth parents request letters and pictures from the adoptive parents as the child grows and some families visit with each other regularly through the years. Continuing contact between the families is strongly encouraged. We will work with you to come up with a plan that is most comfortable for you.
- What should I do if I want to talk with someone about adoption or if I have a friend who wants to learn more about adoption?
Please feel free to call the agency, seven days a week. We welcome your call and would be happy to answer any questions you may have. If you’d like, we could also make an appointment to meet with you in person at either of our offices or at a location you desire.