Match Meetings

Below you’ll find recommended questions that birth parents and adoptive parents may consider asking one another during an adoption match meeting.

AC=Questions that a Prospective Adoptive Couple might ask a prospective birth parent.
BP=Questions that a Prospective Birth Parent might ask a prospective adoptive couple.

Introduction:

Tell us a little bit about what has brought you to looking at a placement plan for your child?

The Decision to Adopt:

AC: Tell us a little bit about what has brought you to looking at a placement plan for your child? What has the adoption process been like for you so far? What are some important things that you want to have included in your adoption plan?

BP: What has brought you to the decision to build your family through adoption? What has the adoption process been like for you so far? Are you excited about adopting? Do you plan to adopt again someday? If prospective adoptive couple has previously adopted: What was your previous adoption experience(s) like?

Hopes for the Child:

AC: Do you have any dreams/hopes for the child? What do you want the child’s childhood to be like?

BP: What plans do you have for the child? What are your expectations for the child’s future?

Telling the Child of Adoption:

Adoption Match Meeting - questions to askAC: What do you want the child to know about you? How do you plan on telling the child about your reasons for choosing an adoption placement plan, will you provide us (adoptive family) with a letter, pictures, video, etc.? What do you see as your role in the child’s future?

BP: How do you plan on telling the child he/she is adopted? At what age do you plan on talking to the child about his/her adoption? Do you know of other children who have been adopted? What do you anticipate will be some of the issues the child might face when dealing with his/her adoption and how will you help them work through these issues?

Openness in Adoption:

AC: What is your idea of openness? How much and what type of contact are you wanting as the birth parent? What are your expectations of us as the adoptive parents in regards to openness?

BP: What is your idea of openness? How often and what type of contact do you plan to have with me? Are you willing to accept letter, gifts, and pictures from me? Are you willing to have face to face visits with me as the child grows? If we have an open adoption with each other and one of us moves out of state, what would you be willing to do in order for us to continue an open adoption with each other?

Medical/Health:

AC: Do you have any medical problems of concern (birth mother, birth father and family)? How has your pregnancy been? What medications/vitamins have you taken during the pregnancy?

BP: Do you have any medical problems of concern (prospective adoptive father, prospective adoptive mother and family)? Do you have medical insurance/health insurance and will the child be covered? What medical care do you plan on giving the child?

Parenting Skills/Discipline:

AC: How were you raised as a child? What type of disciplining did you respond to best?

BP: What experience do you have with children? What are some of the discipline methods you have discussed using in raising a child? How were you raised as a child? If the child has special needs which are undetected at birth for example ADHD, hyperactivity, learning disabilities how do you plan on handling such issues? How will you encourage or direct your child into his/her talents? Discuss child care issues; stay at home parent, public daycare, private day care provider. Who will be the child’s primary care giver?

Education/Career:

AC: Are you in school? What year are you in school? Do you plan on going to college? What subjects did you do well in? What subjects did you have trouble with? What type of student are you? What career do you wish to purse? What type/level of education do you want your child to achieve?

BP: What is your educational background? What type of education are you going to use for your child: public schools, private schools, home schooling? Will you encourage your child to go to college and/or trade school? How do you see yourselves directing your child toward a specific talent or interest?

Family Life:

AC: What has your family life situation been like? What are some of your family traditions? What type of family life are you wanting for your child?

BP: What has your family life situation been like? What are some of your family traditions? Is there any divorce in the family? How close are you to your relatives? Describe your family vacations, your pets, your family activities and the social groups that you are involved in.

Religion:

AC: What is your religious background? Are you involved in a church group? What do you desire for your child to know about Faith and Church?

BP: What is your religious background? Discuss your faith and commitment to church. Does your church have a children’s and youth ministry? Does your church have a children’s ministry?

Fears/Concerns:

AC: What is your greatest fear about the upcoming adoption plan? What might alter your decision to proceed with an adoption placement plan?

BP: What is your greatest fear about the upcoming adoption plan? What might alter your decision to adopt the child?